Prime Minister Gordon Brown has taken up jogging. By pure chance I've had sight of a copy of his training diary.......

Day One
I have decided to take up jogging in order to eliminate the excess weight I have inherited from my predecessor. This morning I attended Hyde Park in the company of my friend Comrade Personal Trainer Smith. I can report here that he wanted me to jog for one mile without stop and that I wanted to jog no more than half a mile without stop and that we were therefore in complete agreement that I would not jog two miles without stop. Negotiations having been concluded to my satisfaction I then jogged one mile without stop. The following discussion then took place:

Comrade Personal Trainer Smith: “What I want you to do now is to run as hard as you can from here to that tree. By the time you arrive at the tree I want you to have worked so hard that you are actually in oxygen deficit.”

Comrade Me: “I can predict now and with confidence that any oxygen deficit I incur will be eliminated by the first quarter of 2015. Myself and the Chancellor have put in place prudent measures which will ensure that I emerge from oxygen deficit well before that old man over there by the bandstand.”

Comrade Personal Trainer: “No you misunderstand me. What I mean is that by the time you reach the tree you must be physically spent.”

Comrade Me: “I will not be physically spent but I will have invested physically to a greater degree than the Tories. If David Cameron were to sprint to that tree and still have some breath left then we will know that he intends to axe the jobs of thousands of nurses and teachers. I will sprint for the many and not the few.”

Comrade Personal Trainer: “Let me put it another way. I want you to go for bust.”

Comrade Me: “But I have abolished bust.”

Comrade Personal Trainer: “You have abolished going for bust?”

Comrade Me: “I never said that. I’m just getting on with the jog”

Day Two
Today during my morning training session I hit the wall. It was not my fault. I’m not sure who put the wall there but the bricks probably emerged in the American sub-prime market and the emergence of the wall overall could not have been predicted by anyone.

Day Three
Today I entered my first 10K race. At the registration desk I noticed a slim runner with a lawyerly presence who looked like he had done this sort of thing before. I therefore approached him and made the following suggestion: “I think it would be best for the running community overall if we agreed now that you take the lead for the first half of the race and then drop out and allow me to lead thereafter. Whilst you are leading I will try and stay on your shoulder and constantly snipe at you in a constructive way. I might even attempt to trip you up as a gesture of my complete support. Do we have a deal?”. The man looked at me, spat on the floor, turned around and walked off in a gesture of complete agreement. Nothing can go wrong now. I have been running for a week so it must be my turn to win.